Canada Day. A very special day for me because it is also my birthday. When I was young I took offence that people were actually celebrating something other than my birthday. How dare they! It is MY day. Who cares about Canada Day?

As the years passed I began to enjoy the celebration and of course the fact that it was a holiday! The beginning of summer holidays. So as I was preparing for this year’s jaunt to the cottage to celebrate with my family, I let my thoughts wander to how I feel about Canada Day now at the ripe old age of 57.

My first thoughts turned to the political. The newly elected government of Ontario, the federal government – things I wholeheartedly agree with and things I vehemently disagree with. But I was urged to go deeper.

I began to realize that this country, this nation that we live in is part of Mother Earth and all of her Divinity. This rich, fertile, beautiful country is Her gift to me. It is exactly where I am meant to be and exactly where I am meant to fulfil my life purpose. It’s home base. This land allows me freedom and abundance. This land, this country has nurtured me, supported me, protected me.

It’s a country of extreme temperatures so that I can enjoy all the seasons of Mother Earth to the fullest. It even allows me to have two completely different wardrobes so I don’t get bored with choosing clothes! I can enjoy pretty much any sport here because of the seasonal changes. The extreme temperatures provide me with dramatic changes to all my senses and encourage me to feel the rhythm of Mother Earth. We certainly can’t miss the change of seasons here!

The next place I went in my wonderings was to the ancestors who have nurtured, cared for and loved this country long before it was a country. I picture those from millennia ago, centuries ago and decades ago. Their gentle, peaceful love.

I am a farmer at heart and have lived on the farm most of my life. Years ago, when I was in a dark, contemplative frame of mind, I walked back to the bush on the farm through the fields. I suddenly saw a young native man walking with me. I had sensed him before. As I walked past a rock pile that I had walked past hundreds of times before I saw a rock precariously positioned on the top of the pile. It was shaped in a perfect heart. I was surprised to see it. I had not seen it before. I picked it up and carried it with me. I knew that it was a gift from this wise man who walked with me. And I also knew that he was acknowledging the next generation to care for this land. He was a healer when he lived on Earth and I recognized that he was passing that healing energy to me.

My great grandmother bought this land decades ago and I began thinking of her and picturing her in the house. I actually knew her quite well and actually remember the sheep in the field, the front lawn was her potato patch (why grow a lawn that only creates work when it can be used for good growing). My grandparents lived there too and I think of my grandmother’s gorgeous gardens and my grandfather planting crops, fixing things with wire and baler twine (a farmer’s joke). My grandmother and great grandmother worked fluidly with Mother Earth and her rhythms. They knew just when the perfect time was to harvest each garden crop, to preserve each thing, to dig out the bulbs and to prune the orchard trees. It was so fluid that it became a dance that repeated each year.

So I thank Mother Earth for sharing this land that we call Canada with me. I thank all the ancestors who have cared for this land we call Canada for me. I thank all the people who live on Earth at this moment and love and nurture this land we call Canada. And I thank all the Divine beings who call this land home for allowing the love and peace and joy of the Divine to flow through this land, these people, these animals, these plants. Together we all make this land Canada. Oh yes, and the government (God bless them) for working on keeping this country abundant and peaceful and gracious.

So have a wonderful Canada Day. I know I will. And maybe let your mind wander to what Canada is for you. It’s more than you think.

Submitted by Cindy Wahlstrom
Stone Cottage Creations, Guelph (creative gifts infused with healing energy)

Happy Birthday Cindy (and Canada)!

Last week I joined a small group of Reiki practitioners in exploring how we can get to know Nature in deeper ways – “to learn, grow, heal and transform and share our best with each other.”

One of the exercises we did was to spend time with and get to know in a deeper way an element in nature. I chose a bag of soil on the table. I had no idea what I would learn but I opened myself to whatever came forward. I was surprised by what I learned in that short time.

When I opened the bag of soil, I was immediately struck by its sterility – it had no smell, very little texture or complexity, and no visible life forms in it. Later, my suspicion was confirmed that this ‘soil’ came from a bag bought in a store.

But as Nature often does, when we pay attention, She used this bag of lifeless soil to illustrate an important lesson for me. I noted how depleted the soil in the bag felt (it looked nice and dark, felt loose and would be easy to spread) but I didn’t get the sense that it had much nutritional value. It seemed to be lacking in some basic components that make up healthy soil. I had the urge to scatter this bag of soil outside to restore it to its natural balance and purpose (in the end I did empty it into a nearby houseplant). To free it from its plastic enclosure and return it to its Mother Earth. To the air, water and matter (organic and inorganic) that constitutes its wholeness.

I reflected on how often we separate ourselves from our environment – we break up the whole and only keep the parts we view as useful. Ironically, by sterilizing and manipulating our environment in this way we disrupt the delicate balance of Nature, thereby also affecting our own natural balance. Just one example: our intensive agricultural practices have depleted minerals in the soil to the degree that food is often deemed not as nutritious as it used to be. So without supplementation, our bodies over time risk disease as a result of nutritional deficiencies.

It could be easy to throw our hands up in despair, not knowing where to start or what to do. It can be tempting to leave the problems and challenges for others to solve or declare impossible.

I think that each of us is perfectly positioned to act, after all what happens to Nature also happens to us. We are locked in a interconnected cycle of life and death and life…. We are Nature.

This week I invite you to begin a new practice of awareness about your relationship with Nature. A good place to start is to become more mindful of how we live. Pay closer attention to how and what resources we take from the earth – appreciate its complexity and its finiteness.

Through one little bag of soil, Nature asked me to become more mindful about and for Her. I am starting by opening myself to a deeper awareness of my environment, paying special attention to my footprints in it. Perhaps each of you also will broaden your understanding and relationship with Nature, in whatever ways have meaning for you.

Exercise: Mindful Observation (from Pocketmindfulness.com)

This exercise is simple but incredibly powerful. It is designed to connect us with the beauty of the natural environment, which is easily missed when we’re rushing around…

Pick a natural organism within your immediate environment and focus on watching it for a minute or two. This could be a flower or an insect, the clouds or the moon. Don’t do anything except notice the thing you are looking at. But really notice it. Look at it as if you are seeing it for the first time. Visually explore every aspect of this glorious organism of the natural world. Allow yourself to be consumed by its presence and possibilities. Allow your spirit to connect with its role and purpose in the world. Allow yourself just to notice and ‘be’.

Open your senses, Nature is calling…

Submitted by Lucy Martin

Winding down the day has become a very important part of my life. For those of you who share in my struggle to get to sleep, you may know too the value of finding a way to a more consistent and restorative pattern of sleep. My own evening ritual has come to be a way to let go and enter my sleep intentionally and peacefully.

How do I do that, you may wonder?

At the close of each day. I breathe deep and tell myself that the rest of my to-do list will wait until tomorrow. I take a few moments to think about tomorrow. I look at my list and arrange my priorities, leaving a bit of space for the unexpected of life’s flow to offer me creative encounters with the precious moments that make up our lives.

In my previous blog Morning Rituals to a Peaceful Relationship with ME, I shared how I create peaceful relationship with myself in my morning rituals. This time, I will share my evening rituals that nurture my inner peace and sustain me. In my Reiki Ryoho practice, I am invited to practice Reiki and prayers or meditation morning and night, along with the precepts. Some may wonder why this is necessary, but after years of practice, the depth and groundedness this practice brings has been transformational for me.

As part of this practice, I connect with Reiki through prayer and ask for the energies of the day that are complete and do not need to go with me into the next day to be released. I do a Reiki meditation or technique to clear my energy and let go of the thoughts that governed the day. Tomorrow will be a new day. It makes me feel clean and relaxed.

Whether I journal my gratitude or sit quietly and intentionally offer my gratitude through verbal prayers of thanksgiving, I am struck at the power of this practice to transform my day. Over the years, I have made it a commitment to start my journal time with gratitude. I do not waiver from that regardless how I may feel about my day. What I have learned is that when I focus on what I am truly grateful for, my mind shifts and my memory is that my day was really quite good after all.

When I work with clients or notice what they write in their gratitude part of their session journals, I can frequently tell whether their list of gratitude comes from their head or their heart. Listing what one is grateful for can become a mental exercise that loses its power and effectiveness to transform the heart and one’s life if it only is done as a ‘have to’, ‘should’ or a ‘trendy spiritual practice’ that doesn’t create any personal sense of peace or connection. Do not worry about how long or short it is. What I have come to realize for myself is whether I have honestly moved into the centre of my heart and felt the gratitude from the inside out.

I am amazed at what I am grateful for in each day when I give myself time andspace to be honestly grateful from my heart. I don’t just think about being grateful. I call into felt and full awareness that which I’m grateful for. Sometimes, what I find myself thankful for is a very difficult decision that has taken me outside my comfort zone and into a new experience. Sometimes, I’m grateful for what didn’t work out as much as I am for what did come into fruition.

This process of contemplating my day, clearing my fields and stretching out my body takes time. I myself need at least an hour to get ready to sleep. I have to unwind my body and my mind. I have to put my mind to bed and that means my mind must be willing to relax. What I do to support my mind to relax and be at peace makes all the difference to the quality of my sleep. If I haven’t given myself enough honest time to listen to the core of me, to the real concerns and needs of my heart and being during the day, it will speak to me in the middle of the night or as I seek to drift off, or perhaps even in my dream-time.

During the coming week, I invite you to consider your own evening ritual. How does your time with yourself in the evening create peace with yourself and others? What are the evening rituals that support the best sleep you can have so that you can show up to yourself, your life and your relationships the next day? How meaningful is your evening practice of gratitude to re-frame any day into a decent or even into a great day?

Take time to evaluate your evening rituals and honestly acknowledge what needs to change so you can create more peaceful relationships with yourself and others. Be truthful. The way you enter into your sleep matters. Find one practice, or habit that you are ready to change or tweak to improve the quality of your life, your joyfulness and of course, the peace in your relationships.

Namaste, Shirley Lynn

It doesn’t get better than this – a Sunday morning on a long weekend and the sun is bright, the clouds are drifting, the breeze is cool. The birds are singing their songs of celebration and good fortune, tulips are opening and the spring colours and smells are delighting the senses. Carlie and Rayna have had their walk, eaten breakfast and are joyously chewing bones out on the porch. I join them on the porch with my tea, taking in the sun and simply enjoying the simplicity and perfection of the moment.

I reflect on the importance of this moment of just hanging out with my dogs, with Nature and my cup of tea. I feel calm, relaxed and happy. I notice that Spring is in perfect relationship with itself. The flowers are in perfect relationship with each other. I am free to sit and be without worrying or focusing on what I ‘should’ be doing or will be doing the rest of the day. It’s a moment of being in right relationship with me. I bask in this moment and experience a wonderful sense of gratitude and inner harmony that I know will influence the rest of the day.

Today is a simple morning, not cluttered with extraneous mental thoughts or worries or tensions or activities about what needs to get done. It is a moment that arose out of being present in the moment and a softening to the fluidity of the moment’s dance. Being present to the moment opened the door for me to experience right relationship with myself, to create peaceful relationship with me!

You may already have your ways of practising peaceful relationship with yourself, but let me share some of the steps I took that created the environment and synergy of peaceful relationship with myself:

1. Meditation as my first way to greet and celebrate the day.
2. A moment of self healing to strengthen my intention and seek Divine sustenance for a resilient attitude for the day.
3. A prayer for all sentient beings that each may experience peace, health, happiness and abundance this day.
4. Because I like structure and focus, I make a reasonable and heart-centred list of what I want to accomplish each week. (And since I had this list planned going into the weekend, I could let go of any stress thoughts because I trust the flow and intention of the day).
5. With Carlie, I have learned to go for a walk as soon as I get up, even before we eat breakfast. I attend also to my body and the rhythms that need to be awakened for the day.
6. I allow space in my day for Spirit to ‘show up’ and ‘commune’ with me in whatever way is needed.

I know that as I practise these early morning habits of being in connection with Spirit, myself and Carlie, the rest of the day’s interactions are more harmonious and happy. I’m starting my day with the power of vital energy and the ease of Universal Harmony.

I recognize that not every day gets to have these moments of sitting and basking in the peaceful moment of a perfect spring day, late into the morning. However, I also know that when I lack the discipline to practise these spiritual habits in a morning, I have to work harder that day to sustain the ease of a resilient and positive attitude and harmonious connections. Why work that hard when all it takes is for me to get up in time to practise these habits and anchor peacefulness into my mind and heart?

Like they say, work smarter, not harder!

I’m a firm believer of writing down our insights, our thoughts and beliefs, our feelings and the general flow of what is happening in our internal life. It reveals so much of what is hidden to us … it reveals our soul and the blocks to our soul.

This year for me is about creating peaceful relationships and I have invited you on this journey through stories and insights about what can support our path to such relationships. I will speak more about right relationship with self and the evening practice, but for this week, I invite you to write out your habits that promote and sustain right and peaceful relationship with yourself.

We are shortly stepping into the last half of the year. If you want to actually start creating peaceful relationships rather than just wishing for them, commit to a habit and start practising. And if you need help getting started to promote your own inner peace, I encourage you to set up an appointment with me and let’s get you moving forward.

Here’s to the perfect modelling of right relationship with self … thank you SPRING!

Namaste,

Shirley Lynn Martin

Submitted by Lucy Martin

I’ve been thinking more about the power of No, in part because I just posted online Shirley Lynn’s interview with Rosie on CBC earlier this spring, which was about saying no. I encourage you to listen to it if you haven’t already.

In surfing the web a little, it appears this is an issue that people struggle with a lot – in the workplace, at home, with friends and in other relationships. So perhaps it’s not surprising to also experience this challenge with our animal companions, many of whom hold great significance in our lives and hearts. On the surface, you might be thinking that I am advocating for denying our animals of all the treats and treasures that we love to indulge them with. You can relax and read on because I too contribute my share to the billions of revenue generated by the pet industry.

So where or how then, do I think we need to exercise the power of no with our animals?

Firstly, no is about establishing boundaries or limits – what is desirable behaviour and what isn’t. While there are societal expectations about how animals are supposed to behave, at least in public areas, there is a great deal of variance in what individuals find acceptable (or at least tolerable) in private. For instance, I expect Rayna to lay down when people approach to greet us (a work in progress) in public spaces, but at home we are much less formal and primarily require four feet on the floor and no mouthing other people or Carlie.

It is tempting to believe that our animals understand ‘plain English’ and when we say no to something, they understand and will respond accordingly. If you are lucky, they might stop doing the behaviour but then what? Do they look at you and then return to the behaviour that you just interrupted, or perhaps choose an alternate behaviour that may be better or worse?

The flip side of no is yes. Yes is the desirable behaviour. How do we communicate our yeses? By sharing information in the form of training. Training doesn’t necessarily require a trainer and going to classes (although sometimes that can speed the process); training simply means teaching desired skills and behaviours in a way the animal understands, practising and refining those behaviours, and consistently enforcing and reinforcing them.

You might be thinking this is a lot of work and it’s true, communication is work. It’s hard enough with people who speak the same language and share a similar cultural understanding. Animals don’t share our language, mores or understanding of the world. Your goal is to instill behaviours and strategies that will help your animal know what to do when the environment changes – guests come for dinner, a neighbour stops to chat on the street, another cat walks across the lawn, etc. A quick word or cue can prompt the appropriate action without undue stress or anxiety for either of you. It can be very reassuring and a real confidence booster when you have prepared and practised what to do in unfamiliar situations – for both you and your animal.

So the power of no with our animal companions is about instilling a vocabulary and skill-set of what the right answers are – the yeses. The more information we can share about what is desirable within our relationship, the better things will be. Less stress and anxiety for both of us. Like all meaningful relationships, this requires clear communication, an understanding and commitment to what is desirable and right for both of us, as well as a gracious heart when one or both of us screws up.

To all the animals out there who share our lives and hearts, thank you for sticking with us. We promise to keep working at teaching you the yeses to make living in our human-centric world a little easier. And when we get it wrong, please be gracious with your no.

It has been said that our animals are our greatest teachers, and I think that’s true. Learning how to communicate our expectations and desires to another species is a worthy endeavour in its own right. But these lessons can also be extended into our human relationships where it is just as important to express our needs, desires and expectations.

If you are struggling with knowing and expressing what your nos and yeses are in your significant relationship, Shirley Lynn is here for you. Call or email today to set up an appointment and reclaim your power.

Spring is an incredible time of death and new life, of purification and resurrection. This past weekend, I buried a hawk that froze to death during the cold snap, my cat of 25 years that transitioned over Christmas, and I offered blessings to various other critters that froze or died in other ways from the long cold winter and now lay exposed after the spring thaw. Ironically, this time of burial comes close to the Easter story of death and resurrection which struck me in a new way this year.

Although I am not an active participant in any church at this time, I continue to reflect upon the perennial narratives and wisdom of various world religions to glean insight and wisdom for my own personal transformation and joyous living. With that in mind, I invite you to wonder with me where your own faith supports and awakens you to a more fulfilling and rich experience of Spirit and your human life and relationships.

The incredible gift in burying these creatures was feeling how incredibly true to their essence and purpose in life they remained. The joy I felt as I released the bodies into the ground, honouring their hearts, lives and spirits for the betterment of the entire planet is strangely beyond words. Carlie and Rayna respected the ceremony and made no attempts to disturb or disrupt the intention to return to Spirit those who had shared life with us. They ran and played around me and the bodies, but left them untouched.

Instead, Carlie and Rayna ran about smelling and sniffing the new life emerging from the ground after the long cold winter. Little shoots of daffodils and crocuses were coming up, seeking sun and life extending beyond the ground, their cave. In the Easter narrative, the stone is rolled away, offering us the opportunity to extend our life beyond the death, beyond the depression, the loss, the trauma of what we may have experienced. Though we may have experienced deep and profound pain in our life, we are never meant to stay in the death of it, to remain a victim of it. We are meant to rise again, to resurrect ourselves through the Divine extraordinary gift of love and service to us—to thrive.

As I was digging (and then broke the shovel and had to buy a new one!), having extended time to complete this ceremony, I was encouraged to reflect upon the incredible Divine Love offered to us in this natural cycle of life and transition. The joy I felt in this little ceremony with Nature and her inhabitants invited me to remember again that Divine Love only gives life, inviting us to thrive. Even when we experience darkness, death, the black hole or cave of our depression, trauma or shame, guilt consciousness that robs us of life, we are gifted with the wisdom to cultivate new life. We don’t need to look very far … typically just outside our windows or in the neighbourhood park. How profound is that love! A covenant love that always promises new life, more abundant love, a love that never ends!

So why is it that we are so frequently disconnected and what can we do? Recently I was aware of the negative impact of my doubt upon my life. My coach asked me what the opposite of doubt is for me and without hesitation, I offered, belief and faith. When I believe that I am loved in this extravagant, abundant life-giving way, doubt is contained. It doesn’t get fertilized. It was a reminder – rather than worry about my doubt at what isn’t working or didn’t happen or what isn’t coming into realization just yet, I’m invited to thrive anyway!

Here are a few ways I nurture my faith to thrive (to live in Love):

1. Upon waking and before going to sleep I give thanks for the day and ask my Higher Self/Christ Self (or whatever language that fits for you) to guide me and support me to do what I must do, to think what gives me life and positive perspective, and to speak what gives life to me and others on this day.
2. When I meditate, I practise surrender and letting go into Universal Love asking for healing and empowerment to live my purpose and grow in love.
3. I enjoy a morning walk with our dogs and stay open to the connection to Nature and commune with Her for inner sustenance and deeper awareness of the flow of life.
4. I spend some time reading what enhances my belief in what is good, what feeds my purpose and expands my inner perspective.
5. I follow my inner guidance for what gives me balance and inner peace in my life. I take time out and honour my needs as I do others.
6. Do activities and spend time on goals aligned with my vision for love, for peace, for happy community.

I know there are other ways I enhance my faith so that I can thrive (I am not a victim to my life), but these are core to me. I invite you to write out your own core ways that help you increase and nurture your faith. Make sure you do them when life is good, so they are a reflex when life presents its challenges.

As I placed the last shovel of dirt over the buried bodies, I experienced their spirit’s deep gratitude for honouring their lives and their purpose. They are happy and free and whole.  Namaste.

In Peace,  Shirley Lynn

AN OPPORTUNITY FOR SPRING GROWTH & RENEWAL …

• Do you find yourself putting others’ needs ahead of your own?
• Do you want to increase your confidence in handling the difficult situations and demands in your life?
• Are you living a smaller story of yourself than what you dream?

Then say YES to this transformative Two-Day Workshop!

CULTIVATING JOYFUL LIVING: Balancing Self Care Within Relationships

Friday & Saturday, May 23^rd-24^th, 2014

9:00 am – 5:00 pm

Location is just north of Waterloo, ON

Cost: $285 plus HST

Get Inspired! Check online for details about the workshop that past participants continue to rave about:

CULTIVATING JOYFUL LIVING: Balancing Self Care Within Relationships

Submitted by Lucy Martin

This past Saturday, Rayna and I attended a workshop at Dogs in the Park (Guelph) on Loose Leashes. We had a full day of theory and practical exercises that laid the foundation for a much more pleasurable leash walk with my dog. I want to share what stood out for me:

1. Keeping a loose leash usually takes months of consistent practice – it rarely happens on its own.
2. It takes two to pull. It’s impossible to pull without something to pull against. I have at least as much to do with keeping a loose leash as Rayna.
3. If my dog doesn’t understand how to walk beside me without a leash, she can’t understand how to work with me ON leash.
4. The leash should only be for an additional measure of safety, and not the principle means for moving my dog from point A to B.

Wow! So walking with my dog is really about our RELATIONSHIP – a relationship that takes time to develop, being committed to the process, and having strategies available to help us move through the frustrations and breakdowns that are common in learning this skill.

A mantra at the training school is “set the dog up for success” but I think it really should be “set both you and your dog up for success.” Nothing enhances a relationship like accomplishing something meaningful together. But how do we do that? I know it’s not enough to just want my dog to ‘stop pulling and walk nicely’.

One of my takeaways was the value of taking it slow – not to try for an hour walk with no pulling but to start small with a step or two, and build on that. A walk to the car. A walk to the street corner… . I think it’s important to remember that walking on a leash is not a natural activity for any animal – when I put myself in Rayna’s paws, I understand the vulnerable position she is in. She has a ligature around her neck that I can tighten or pull when I choose. I can restrict her ability to investigate her world. I can hurt her in multiple ways, with leash as weapon.

When I take seriously the power I have when I hold the other end of the leash, I acknowledge that how I choose to use the leash has a direct impact on my relationship with Rayna. Do I use the leash to restrict or change her movements? Does the leash create a dynamic of conflict between us? Am I being fair in how and when I utilize the leash? Do I choose connection and enticement to redirect her when necessary (and the leash simply is superfluous)?

Defined as such, a loose (or taut) leash is a clear indicator of the state of our partnership. Are we engaged with each other and moving as a unit? Are both of our desires, interests and needs being met (is there give-and-take or is there an imbalance)? Is the leash a source of connection or control? If the leash wasn’t there, would the picture look any different? Will Rayna choose to engage with me over all else?

No, but that’s okay with me. We have different interests after all (trust me, there are places I don’t want to go, things I don’t want to smell or taste!). My hope is that by accepting and supporting her different desires and interests, Rayna will reciprocate with a willingness to participate in what is important to me (like being able to enjoy a walk together in an urbanized setting where leashes are expected and enforced).

So loosen those leashes on your dogs. And your human relationships too. I invite you to develop and refine the tools and skills you need to enhance your connections with whoever is at the end of your tether. A great resource to get you started is Shirley Lynn’s upcoming workshop called Cultivating Joyful Living: Balancing Self Care Within Relationships (May 23-24). Over the two days, you will “set yourself up for success” in a small supportive group. Learn and practise new skills to improve your relationships and your self. Join the growing list of participants who have benefited from this workshop.

Contact Shirley Lynn today to find out how this course will benefit you.

This morning I was walking with Carlie and her ‘cousin’ Roxie. Although cold, the sun was shining, the winds were light, and the sky was a perfect blue. It was a perfect day to dress warm and romp in the bush and open fields. As you may recall from previous blogs, the journey for these two dogs walking in joy and harmony together took more than a year of disciplined commitment, training and trust-building in all of us (their relationship had started on rocky terms).

At one point on the path, Carlie was racing after a squirrel while Roxie was nearby, keeping an eye on the wiener and cheese bag. I called Carlie back and treated them both with these scrumptious treats. A little later Roxie was sniffing something and soon was further behind. She was racing to catch up and Carlie, in her youthful playfulness, bounced toward her, asking through her behaviour, if they could play chase.  Roxie stopped and looked away. “No” was her response. Carlie stopped, but continued the play position. I called them both back to me and my bag of scrumptious treats. They both raced back to me side by side and sat nicely for their treats. I rewarded them and even gave them a bonus.

Roxie knows she doesn’t like the game of ‘chase’ with Carlie since Carlie hasn’t learned yet that she can’t play the same way she does with her big dog friends. (Roxie is only 15lbs while Rayna is 95lbs.) So their games cannot be about playing chase with each other. However racing for treats is a game they both enjoy and one in which all their sensibilities are honoured.

As I was engaging in this play and romping with them, it reminded me how fundamental it is for context and environment to be considered in creating and sustaining peaceful relationships. Last blog I invited you to listen to the CBC airing of the POWER OF NO, where I coached one of their producers in helping her to understand the power and value of saying ‘no’ and ‘yes’ in the right context. The context today with Carlie and Roxie was clearly how ‘no chase’ was being communicated for Carlie by Roxie and I, even when Roxie was delightfully racing back toward us. In Carlie’s mind, it was a perfect opportunity to start a chase game because speed, momentum and energy for it already were engaged – perfect context. Yet, for Roxie, it was an undesirable context.

For joy and harmony and respectful communication to be nurtured between the two of them, I had to change it and create a new context (a framework or structure) where both could ‘race’ similar to a play chase, without anyone becoming a ‘tussle target’. History has shown that tussling between them leads to conflict. But I called them back to me using a tone of voice that echoed ‘come play with me’ which brought both of them flying back. And since I was holding out the bag of treats for them to see, the context included getting a reward for playing this game in a new and safe way for everyone. And since they played it perfectly, they got a bonus reward!

The second fundamental that supported this ‘peaceful play’ was environment. I take them to an environment where their needs are met safely. Neither dog is a dog who seeks out dog acquaintances readily. Giving them open space, big enough that they can run and sniff and be ‘away’ from each other, paradoxically, over time has nurtured a trust that they can walk side by side harmoniously and sniff together at the same spots. On most days we go, there  are not a lot of other dogs or people, so they have had ample opportunity to simply experience each other in an open environment without additional stresses that might otherwise tax them or push them over their thresholds. This could jeopardize their communication with one another because the environment wouldn’t feel safe.

How often in business, schools or community recreational events do we fail to pay enough attention to the details of context and environment? When we are inviting people to change, to adopt new policies or to buy-in to new structures, whether in the office or the classroom, how mindful are we to the environment and context in mandating learning, productivity or change?

Biologically, our brain stem and limbic brain seek safety and go into flight-or-fight if a sense of physical and emotional safety is lacking. And yet, we ask people to perform and learn, to somehow ignore or even dismiss these parts of the older brain and to use the ‘rational’ mind to forge ahead and create solutions, answers or products. And then we wonder why people struggle with stress, anxiety issues and concentration behaviours at school or in the boardroom.

If you are a leader in any of these situations, consider how you could create a framework or context that supports the success of what you intend. Then look at your environment and notice if your environment supports the dimensions of the brain to be calm enough to learn, create or be productive. Create calm and relaxed environments (that doesn’t mean they can’t also be inspirational and engaging) and pay attention to the context or framework of what you seek to have happen. Notice how the results of relationships, communication and performance improve! It certainly did in a very conflictual relationship between two dogs I love.

If you want to learn more about paying attention to context and environment and how to listen to your body and the ways it tells you about what you need for right context and environment in creating peaceful relationships, then I invite you to attend my upcoming workshop Cultivating Joyful Living: Balancing Self Care Within Relationships, May 23-24. It promises to be the perfect spring tune-up and inner transformation to move you forward!

Peacefully & Namaste,

Shirley Lynn